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Fire spaghetti. Again.
I've been fighting my reality lately: I can't afford school right now. Because of getting married too fast and too young and then realizing WHAT THE FUCK and getting an annulment, I'm very much poor. And in debt, because Ken, in the broken hearted state I left him in, took all the money and left me with all the debt. I don't really blame him, but now I'm stuck in a bog of not being able to pay my bills. I have the flu because I've been moving non stop and stopped taking care of myself in a lot of ways. On top of that, we just found out my Dad's cancer is back and he won't have much longer, so my priorities aren't what most 22-year-olds are. So.

I finally found a job serving at a kick ass restaurant where I love everyone I work with and I THINK I'll be good at. But it will be awhile til I'm making good money. So I picked up an extra job watching an adorable kid two days a week for $40 a week, which will help money matters, but leave me with no days off. I'm learning to stop being so angry at myself for making such a mess of my life, because I figure the messier it is now, maybe the better it will be later, because I've learned a lot of lessons very quickly. Such as.

#1. I deserve to be with someone I'm in love with and don't just love because they take care of me.

#2. At the end of my life, this very difficult money period won't mean a lot. I'm trying to look at the bigger picture.

#3. I have to let go of being pissed at myself for still not getting going with school. 

#4. Driving myself crazy worrying about everything isn't really going to help anything. Except maybe my therapist's pocketbook.

Last but not least, #5. Don't eat spaghetti with chapped lips. It tastes like burning. 

Off to work.

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That's awesome, I'm so there. Well...not THERE, exactly, more like HERE, in Indiana, in my bedroom, listening while I drink coffee and crochet a zombie army. And thanks for the tip. I would hate to lose my lips to chili.

well...if you listen tomorrow afternoon, I wont be in... Im seeing Avenue Q, but you should still call in and request because it always makes my cohosts jealous when they find out I have fans :)

Ha! I'll try to sound like a hot chick groupie who's totally bummed that John isn't there.

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